I do just fine giving talks in Sacrament meeting, I'm not even sure why, but when it comes to bearing my testimony, the nerves are strong! It's not like that every single fast and testimony meeting. I don't bear my testimony every single month but when I do the decision of what I want to bear my testimony on is always a battle.
I had a thought come to mind. Something that I've been pondering over the last little while. I thought it would be the "perfect thing" to bear my testimony on and I was trying to figure out how to say it without just going up there and sharing an experience and then that's it! I feel like I always try to figure out what I want to say before I go up but when I finally get up to the stand... it's all wiped from my memory. I go blank and I never know what to actually say.
While I was sitting on the bench, arguing with myself on whether or not I was going to go up, the thought came to mind that maybe whatever is weighing on my heart or whatever the Spirit just shared with me isn't meant for everyone to hear. Maybe... just maybe... that burning feeling I'm getting isn't so that I can go up and share the sacred experience I have had, or the revelation I'm receiving from the Holy Ghost... maybe it's just for me.
As a teenager, I always felt like I needed to share everything. That maybe what I had to say would help someone, therefore I should share it. But over the years I've come to realize that some of the things the Spirit conveys to us are meant only for us and not everyone else. And that's okay! I feel like when you start to learn a little of how the Spirit speaks to you, you can decipher what you should keep between yourself and the Lord (and maybe your journal) and what you can share that could potentially help someone.
Now, I'm not saying that you shouldn't share anything ever, including sacred experiences. But what I am saying is that whenever you experience something spiritual, it's okay to just have that experience for yourself. Write it down for sure. Journal the experience and your thoughts and feelings. There are certain things in my life that have happened and I have had a moment of peace with the Lord and have learned something that I know, without a doubt, is meant for only my ears. But I have also had experiences in life that I know could help someone or that I feel comfortable sharing.
Just know that if you're not up bearing your testimony because you're not sure you want to share the experiences in your life, that's okay. Not everyone is the same and we bear our testimony in different ways. It's okay to have sacred moments between you and God and no one else.
