I Am Capable

This post is coming to you a little late. Sometimes I have great ideas for blog posts and then at the last minute, I change my mind. Last weekend I attended an event called Love Your Life. The event was held by Hilary Weeks and Emily Belle Freeman. They are both wonderful women!

It was a wonderful night full of inspiration, love and some beautiful music by Hilary herself. She's such an amazing artist and it was a real treat to be able to hear her sing live. I have loved her music since I was a little girl. My mother would play her songs every Sunday while getting ready for church. Because of that, Hilary Weeks is one of my favorite gospel singers and I cannot wait for her new album to come out sometime soon (hopefully)!!

We had a mini-workbook where we did little exercises together and even had moments to talk among those at our tables. It was great! One particular exercise we did was about self-care.

On the right, you can see that there are quite a few different qualities listed for us to check off. There's a catch. You have to check qualities that the Lord sees in you. It was a humbling thing to do and one that I wanted to do honestly.

As I'm checking the boxes, none of them stood out to me until I read the word Capable. I'm not sure why but it just hit me really hard. For a long time, I have felt like I wasn't capable enough to do certain things in my life. I wasn't sure I could actually finish school or hold a job. I wasn't sure if I could keep up with my friendships and nurture my family relationships. I've struggled with not being perfect... but who hasn't?

When I read the word capable, I got this really peaceful feeling. Almost a warmth like some people describe the Spirit to be. Immediately I had all of these thoughts come to my head. The Spirit was telling me that I am capable. I am capable of starting a blog. I am capable of finishing school. I am capable of being a good wife and future mother. I am capable of reading my scriptures and saying my prayers each day. I'm capable of holding a job and not letting my anxiety ruin in. I'm capable of being a good Sunday School teacher to some of the youth in our ward.

I just felt this sense of confidence that the Lord really believes I'm capable. I'm capable of so many things and he sees that in me. It was humbling and very relieving because I've always believed that I have failed so many people, most importantly, my Heavenly Father. I think we can all feel that way sometimes and it's hard not to. We're imperfect people trying to become perfect like Christ.

This is a really great activity to do from time to time to help build your self-confidence. The Lord loves us and he believes in us. We are capable.

Make It Yours

During my scripture study the other day, I noticed a small sentence that I had written out on the bottom of the page. This Book of Mormon is the very first one I owned. I received it as a gift from my parents on the day I was baptized as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I’m reading the scriptures from the beginning (again) so right now I’m in 1 Nephi.

These scriptures of mine are proving to be very beaten up. I love them. I cherish them. I would grab them first if my house was on fire (besides my family). These scriptures have seen it all…. just like my life. Everything I have ever poured out of my soul to God is inside of these pages. Everything I have ever learned is inside these pages.

I 100% believe that making your scriptures and scripture study is your own thing. I remember being in primary when I was probably like 8 or 9, and there was a boy in my Sunday school class who would draw allllll over his scriptures. I was in shock and I couldn’t believe he was doing that. When I told my teacher, she said, “It’s okay. Those are his scriptures.” I just remember being in complete shock that she would allow that! When I later told my mom, she said that I could do the same but that they aren’t a coloring book.

In middle school, I basically just highlighted every scripture I ever saw. I didn’t even care what it said or why I was highlighting it, I just did. Now I painfully regret doing that to my scriptures. Whenever someone sees those beloved highlighted pages I just cringe and laugh with embarrassment because they just look terrible.

In high school was probably when I started to personalize my scriptures a little bit more. I would write quotes on the borders. Decorate with flowers or hearts or stars. I would write thoughts down or any suggestions that my seminary teacher had. I started underlining more with a purpose than just because I could. So I guess you could say my scriptures are quite the sight to see but I’m proud of them nonetheless. Of course, I have new sets. I have scriptures that have never touched the tip of a pen. And then I have these beautiful scriptures that are 18 years old that have seen better days.

My point to this post is to tell you that your scripture study and your physical/electronic scriptures are what you make them. Write what your heart tells you. Write what the Spirit prompts you to write. Write quotes or small things to remember scriptures, different phrases or stories. In the photo, you can see that I use little sticky tabs. I wrote a very small, mostly one-word phrase on the sticky tab that went right with the scripture. So if I needed a “faith” scripture, I would open up to that tab and BAM! I would always have a faith-based scripture to use right then and there. I would tab favorites, promises, reminders, etc. Anything that meant something to me.

That’s what this is all about. Your scripture journey… your learning and your understanding are all yours. Only you learn the way that you know best. And if that’s decking out your scriptures like nobody else, then so be it! It’s okay to get messy. It’s okay to draw lines, shapes, or write paragraphs. Whatever will help you have a better scripture study experience, by all means, do it!!! I am not the first to say such and I know I most definitely won’t be the last.

As much as I wish I knew when, why or what from I wrote on the page (in the image), I do know that through scripture and scripture study, God has most definitely healed my broken soul more than once. I love being a member of the LDS Church. I love reading my scriptures and I love finding these reminders throughout the pages. Even if I don’t remember them or where they came from. It’s like my past-self is telling my future-self something. I love my own personal journey and I love sharing about it.

Christ Sought the Father... Do You?

The talk shown in the photo above is called Am I a Child of God? by Elder Brian K. Taylor! It’s a great talk and I was able to read many reassuring things about my identity as a child of God. But what stuck out to me most is what you see above. Christ always sought the Father. Christ always turned to him first. Christ always put the Father first. So when I thought about that, and learning how much our Father in Heaven meant to Jesus Christ, this question popped into my head.

Christ sought the Father... do you?

 And I’ve been thinking about it all day. How many times have I sought the Father first? How many times have I turned to him before anyone else? Even my husband? How many times have I put him, his Beloved Son, and the gospel, first in my life? I was heartbroken to admit that I fail miserably at doing any of those things.

It’s so easy for me to find physical, immediate help on the days that are the hardest. It’s also REALLY easy for me to turn to my husband, family or friends when something fantastic happens!! And while there is nothing wrong with either of these (I promise, nothing wrong), I do find myself thinking about this more often.

How many times have I pleaded to my Father in heaven for an answer RIGHT NOW? How many times have I asked him to help me this very second, knowing he probably is helping someone else? How many times have I asked him to put me first? This isn’t a right or wrong post. This isn’t anything like that. I’m just expanding on the thought of seeking the Father… period.

Nobody is at fault. We all make mistakes. We are all working on being better than we were yesterday and hopefully, we can take this question and ponder. Maybe we can let sit in our minds for a few days and really start to think about it. I love my Father in Heaven and I hope that I can always try my best to include him in my life by seeking him as the Savior did.

Work and Wonder: LDS General Conference Workbook

You guys! I'm so excited to share this with you!!

Work and Wonder Co. is a company that produces an LDS General Conference workbook. If you're not familiar with what General Conference is, let me tell you! LDS is short for Latter-day Saint which is also short for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Within our church, we hold a General Conference twice a year. It's a big event and happens in the Spring and Fall. Members from all over the world tune in to watch or listen or even attend the actual sessions of General Conference. Our Prophet, Apostles and many other General Authority leaders speak to us on many, many different topics. There are a total of five sessions with four of them being two hours long and one of them is about an hour to an hour and a half long.

Well, this beautiful workbook was created to help you ponder, pray, study, take notes, write down your questions and your answers, your thoughts, and feelings from each speaker and so much more!

I pre-ordered mine (at almost the very last minute) and I'm so glad I did. I was kind of on the fence about ordering one for this General Conference (coming up in just two weeks!!) but decided to get one anyway. I purchased the first volume for last conference (April 2018) and reaaaaalllyyyy loved it. They weren't spiral-bound when we received them but I just took it to Staples for that.

This photo above is what it looked like when I opened the envelope. It's GORGEOUS. The paper and the sticker and just everything about it is beautiful.

With the pre-order, we received these two "freebies." The image on the left is of a centennial tree which you can find in the Sacred Grove (where the First Vision took place), and the image on the right is a cute little 5x7 card with a Book of Mormon reading tracker on the back. These are two very beautiful pieces and I'm so happy to have received them in my pre-order.

The actual workbook itself you could have ordered for it to be bound or spiral-bound. Whichever you preferred which was so very nice! And the best part? They were the same price!! I totally got mine pre-spiral-bound. Now I don't have to drive forever to get it done. The cover is beautiful and all of the photography work is done by Xan Craven with Restoring Photography. Absolutely stunning. The design is perfectly put together and I'm just REALLY excited about this edition.

I'm like 1000000% positive I'll be ordering one of these as long as she makes and sells them!

I filmed a video where I kind of go through the pages and what is inside of them and you can watch that here! I didn't want to give too much away but thought I'd still show you some of it! :) I'm really impressed with Rio and her amazing work in putting this together. So many people ordered them and really love them! I'm a total fan for anything General Conference so this is definitely going on my list of favorites!

I have tried almost everything for conference. I've had many many journals. I have tried typing up notes for the sessions. I have tried not even taking a single note and just listening and focusing on how I'm feeling and I've also done a little bit of everything at once. I don't know if I have found my conference-note-taking-peace but I'm almost there and with this workbook, I'm getting pretty dang close!

One of the really cool features of this workbook is the Sunday study guide. In the back of the book, she has left room to take notes, ask questions, write down answers, and the talk that you discussed during Relief Society on the 2nd and 3rd Sunday of each month (I think that's the schedule for General Conference discussions). It's really nice and then you have ALL of your notes and studies in one place instead of trying to remember what you wrote down or bring all 43782473243 journals to church with you.

 I think she is sold out for this upcoming General Conference but be sure to follow her on Instagram for all of the updates and stay tuned for next years!! I have really loved this product and definitely wanted to feature this on my blog. This opinion is my own. I did not receive a free product or a discount in exchange for my review. I simply just love this product and use it and want to share it with my readers!! It has helped me and I know it can help you!

SALT: An LDS Women's Retreat

I don't even know how to begin this blog post. There is so much on my mind that I want to share about SALT!

I discovered SALT on Instagram but didn't attend any events until this most recent one. It's a retreat for LDS Women (or really any woman that would like to attend, member or not) and it's amazing. Like, there aren't enough words to describe how incredible this event was.

Two days before the event took place, I had sort of a mental breakdown. I was feeling really crappy, sad, and just upset with how my life was going. I felt terrible and ashamed of the type of disciple I was. Lots of unhappy thoughts circled my mind and I oddly felt a huge wave of gratitude knowing that SALT was just two days away. I couldn't have needed it more.

The night before they do a SALT Create Workshop night. There are a few workshops offered and you can pay extra to attend them. I purchased a ticket to the Marriage workshop by Jan with @rootedandrising_ and it was so. good. I have followed Jan's account for a while now and really happy that I decided to go to her class last minute. When I first discovered Jan's account, I finally felt a huge relief that someone else was struggling in their marriage. I wasn't alone. I had grown up picturing marriage to be a certain way and when it was turning out that way, I felt so alone. But this workshop really helped and I learned something really valuable that I'm going to try and implement in my life. Thank you, Jan!

The next morning it started early. We checked in, got our SWAG bags (you can watch my video review here) and found a seat at a table. The opening speaker was really great! She spoke on the Atonement of Jesus Christ and how it applies to our life outside of sin. It was really great! We also opened the event with a hymn and a prayer. The hymn was How Great Thou Art and I almost cried. I love that song and it was so beautiful to be in a room full of powerful women singing this song. I loved it!

After we had a breakout session where we could attend one of the two classes offered. I went to a class about being a warrior of truth and light, a warrior for God. We also talked a lot about our identity and our divine calling. We're so much more than the materialistic things of the world. It was so good. The teacher was freakin' hilarious and I'm really happy that I went. I felt so proud to know that I'm a Daughter of a King and I have been chosen to be a warrior in His army!

We had another breakout session but I wasn't really interested in either of the classes and their topics so I picked one and just kind of took a break for about an hour. After that, we had lunch, which consisted of sandwiches and soup. It was really good. So grateful that lunch was included! After we had another breakout session and I picked a class on creating your life. Seems like your typical "here's how to be artsy in life" but it wasn't that at all! It was about making specific choices in life that creates the life we ultimately want and the one that God has planned for us. It was great!

After we did our roundtable discussion. Now, I have no idea what a roundtable discussion is so I was like... what are we doing? Haha basically there were like so many tables with someone(s) discussing a certain topic and we could sit and listen for like 35 minutes each time. We could sit at three different tables during this part of the event. I chose to go to a table discussing how to make time for what you love. I have been wanting to start this blog which, this roundtable discussion is where the inspiration stemmed from. It was really neat and impactful and I'm grateful for it.

The next table I sat at was on record keeping. I journaled a lot when I was younger. Then when I got older, I turned to blogging and noticed that I preferred to type over handwriting. I occasionally still handwrite but my fingers move faster than my hand. Lol, does that even make sense? It was really neat and I'm glad that I love blogging! The last table I visited was one about women getting into the word of God on our own. Family study is great, couple study is great but independent study is also really great. We kind of did some studying together and then shared with each other some tips about creating personal scripture study. It was really great!!

 Our closing speaker was the most incredible story I've listened to. Not a dry eye in the house! Her name is Kim and she shared her story about battling cancer and how God is in every single detail of her journey and life. It was incredible and I was really able to do some reflecting on finding God in the details of my life and how I need to work harder to pay better attention to those small details. It was so good! After that, we had about a 30-minute break while they cleaned up the main room for our closing speaker and we got to socialize and hang out and go to the bathroom and all of that good stuff. I met some really amazing people and I was really brave and introduced myself to a lot of people that I didn't know or didn't know me. Or that I knew but only from the internet. It was so great and I loved all of it!

We had a couple of AMAZING musical performances and I was just completely blown away. It was so good. This post has kind of gotten to be really long but I'm just so happy that I went. I had no expectations going into this. I didn't have any questions written down, or things I was trying to search for. I just tried my hardest to just be there and sit in the inspiration and goodness of God. It was amazing to be around other women who were to just learn more of Christ and his love for us. I just left with so much inspiration and hope and felt so loved while I was there. I didn't have a care in the world about anything. I had some really good conversations with people that meant a lot to me and have influenced my decision to create this blog. I don't know where it'll take me or what it'll turn into but I'm glad that it's here.

I love my Savior Jesus Christ. I love my Heavenly Father. I have my questions and my doubts. I have my concerns and struggles. But I also know, 100000000% that I love my Savior. I love God. I love my Heavenly Parents and the gospel that my life is centered around. Now, could it be a little more centered? Absolutely. I even remember the next day, I was at home and I could feel all of the regular anxieties and emotions and insecurities that come from my regular life and I could feel the high of the weekend slipping away. I didn't want it to! I panicked. But then I remembered what I learned and to remain calm because of the things I know. I'm not the smartest or the perfect person but I'm just striving to be more like my Savior and to love all of those around me.

SALT was incredible and I’m grateful for it. Thanks Elise!

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Have you attended a SALT event before? Have you attended a retreat similar to it? 

Share your experiences in the comments below!

What I'm Reading Lately

I thought I would start sharing the faith-based books I've recently read and/or currently reading to blog posts every now and then. I like to mix these type of books in with fiction books to kind of mix up my serious and not so serious reading.

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Dear Jane by Rachel Ward

⭐⭐⭐⭐

I really enjoyed this book. I thought it was a pretty cute love story. I’m a sucker for romance and when books include missionaries and waiting for them and stuff, I have to read them.

My favorite part was this at the very end: “I knew that the gospel was true, but it wasn’t a band-aid. It wasn’t a magical wall that would keep me safe from the bad stuff. It’s faith and it’s strength, and it’s a little, tiny light in the darkness that keeps me going.” ←← So good!!

Be Happy by Hank Smith

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I really enjoyed this book! Brother Smith was my seminary teacher in my senior year of high school. He really influenced my life as a youth and I was so excited to see that he had written a book on happiness.

This isn’t your typical “7 things to do to be happy,” but more of an explanation of happiness, things to back up the explanations and so forth. He does have a chapter based solely on depression which is brilliant. All it does is explain depression and how it can physically keep people from making the choice to be happy each day. I thought it was well written and suggest this book to everyone!

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I'm not currently reading any faith-based books but I will update you next time if I am!

If you enjoyed either of these books, comment down below what you thought of them!

If You Don't, Someone Else Will

Okay, this is like the one-millionth blog post I've tried to sit down and write on this subject. I've done a little bit here and there. Mostly I just blog about my feelings and I'm very vague about what it is I'm actually trying to decide.

When I was about 15, I received my Patriarchal Blessing. I obviously had no idea what any of it meant for me and my life or how any of it would play out but I've always tried my best to stay in tune with it (keywords: tried my best). Without going into any details, I've noticed how something is worded in my blessing and the way it has affected me since.

I have always felt "called." And what I mean by that is, based off of my Patriarchal Blessing, many prayers and studying, I have always felt like God wanted some part of me to share the gospel. And more than just a mission. More than just posting photos on Instagram when I drive by a temple. I have always felt impressed to blog about the gospel, my love for it and anything in between. I have tried and tried over the years to pick a "niche" and nothing ever felt right. Nothing ever stuck with me long enough to really feel passionate about it.

Each time I thought about really starting a blog, making it gospel-centered was the only "niche" that came to mind. I am so passionate about sharing the goodness of the gospel. But let me say this first, I am not a perfect "Mormon" scholar. I cannot quote many scriptures, or tell you many of the stories and/or lessons from the scriptures. I'm not really sure why I wasn't blessed in that department LOL I feel like everyone around me is. ;) I am not a perfect Mormon. I am not a perfect disciple/follower of Jesus Christ. I do not intend to share anything with that in mind.

I share the gospel of Jesus Christ, my membership, my Church... simply because I love it. I love my faith. I love The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I love the gospel and the scriptures. I love General Conference. I love our Prophet and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. I love my church leaders, my ward and so much more! I simply love it all with a love that words cannot do justice.

So why am I sharing this with you today?

I recently attended an LDS women's retreat called SALT. It was amazing. I'll obviously be sharing all about it in another post for a different day. I didn't go in with any expectations or questions. I didn't have plans to go to specific classes or listen to specific people talk. I didn't go with any friends or family members. I went alone :O! Simply because I just wanted to go, and experience and meet new people and be inspired! That's the honest truth. And that's exactly what I got.

I love social media. I really do. I love networking and following others and their lives. But I really love connecting with positive, uplifting accounts, especially those that are faith based. One in particular was going to this same event as me. We told each other that we were going to look for each other to say hi. They were with some family members and during a break we got to talking and get to know each other. It was as if we'd been friends for a really long time. Their family members made me feel so special and it was so wonderful to meet them and get to know all of them.

I kind of opened my heart up in a roundtable discussion we were having and they all happened to be at this table at the same time. I confessed to this group that I really really have a love for blogging and blogging about Jesus Christ and my love for the gospel. But the reason I don't have a blog started is because there are already so many out there. There are already so many blogs and Instagram accounts sharing inspiring and uplifting things based off of the gospel... so why should I add to it? Why did I feel like we needed one more blog to add to the millions out there? I just felt like there wasn't a point to it.

After sharing these feelings that I wasn't really expecting to share, this friend and their family members came up to me and told me that I should do it. I should start a blog and who cares what others think. Who cares how many blogs are already out there and what they're sharing. They told me, "if you don't do it, someone else will. God will ask someone else to do it." I kind of smiled and nodded like yeah, I know what you're saying. As if I had heard it a thousand times. But for some odd reason, hearing it from them made me pause and ponder.

So here I am, at home, pondering these words from people I just met who know nothing about me. Yet I feel like a huge prayer has been answered. I feel like God finally said, "Ashley, you've been letting this float around in your head long enough. Here is your answer through these servants of mine. Now go and do." Like clear as day. The impression and the Spirit and my heart just know without a doubt that if I don't do it, someone else will.

To add quickly, the night before the SALT event, I had attended one of their workshops. It's a create workshop where you pay extra to attend this said-class for so many hours and learn about one thing and it's a limited space group so it's more intimate. As we were discussing why we all decided to take this class, someone shared how they would love to speak at events similar to this one and they were there to kind of see how others are able to do it but so nervous because who would listen to their story? Then the teacher said something that hit me hard. She said, "Pioneer it. No one will show up the way you will." And I am pretty sure everyone's mouth dropped open.

And that's where I tie it in with this post. I'm doing it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to start a blog and share my love for the gospel of Jesus Christ. I would love, one day, to have a domain (a dot com) and all that fun jazz but I'm not really sure what to call it, or what it will even become. All I know is that I'm doing it. I have had a prayer answered that I didn't even know I had prayed. I feel more confident now in this "feeling called" I've had since I was 15.

It just feels so good to finally get this off of my chest. To quit messing around and just finally do it.

Because if I don't, someone else will.

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"And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my father: I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them."
- 1 Nephi 3:7